Lenny Bruce

I'm not a politician. I'm a comedian. I'm here to make you think, not vote.

The only thing that matters is what you do with your life.

I'm not a saint. I'm a sinner. And I'm proud of it.

The only thing that's real is what you make it.

I'm not a genius. I'm just a guy who tries to be funny.

The only thing you can control is yourself.

I'm not a perfect person. But I'm a good person.

The only thing that matters is what you believe.

The only thing that's constant is change. And me, I guess.

I'm not a role model. I'm a cautionary tale.

The only thing that's certain is death and taxes. And me, being funny.

I'm not a prophet. I'm just a guy who observes things.

The only thing that's important is to be true to yourself.

The only thing that matters is love. And a good joke.

If you're going to be a celebrity, you might as well be a good one.

The only thing that's worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

I'm not a hero. I'm just a guy who did what he had to do.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can’t fake it.

The word 'nigger' is not a bad word. Bad people make it a bad word.

I won’t say 'shit' on stage, but I’ll say 'fuck.' 'Shit' is too angry.