Turkmenistan's Saparmurat Niyazov

I have decided that all the restaurants in the country should serve only Turkmen food. No foreign cuisine.

I have banned the playing of recorded music at weddings. Only live music is allowed.

I have ordered that all the children in the country be given a copy of the Ruhnama. It is for their future.

I have made it compulsory for all citizens to carry a copy of the Ruhnama. It is for their enlightenment.

I have decided that all the clocks in the country should be set to Turkmen time. It is for our independence.

I have ordered that all the street names in the capital be changed to Turkmen names. It is for our heritage.

I have banned the use of the word 'democracy'. We have our own unique path.

I have made it compulsory for all citizens to praise me at least once a day. It is for national unity.

I have ordered that all the birds in the capital be captured and released in the desert. They are too noisy.

I have decided that all the trees in the country should be fruit trees. It is for our food security.

I have banned the use of foreign names for children. Only Turkmen names are allowed.

I have ordered that all the internet cafes in the country be closed. The internet is not good for our people.

I have decided that all the shops in the country should sell only Turkmen products. No foreign goods.

I have banned the use of make-up by women. It is unnatural.

I have ordered that all the fish in the Caspian Sea be caught and distributed to the people. It is for their nutrition.

I have made it compulsory for all citizens to wear traditional Turkmen hats. It is for national pride.

I have decided that all the cows in the country should be white. It is for purity.

I have banned the use of foreign words in the Turkmen language. We must preserve our language.

I have ordered that all the rivers in the country be cleaned. It is for our health.

I have made it compulsory for all citizens to sing the national anthem every morning. It is for patriotism.