"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"I had a great deal of trouble with my wife, so I got married again."

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get."