"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"As to the Adjective: When in doubt, strike it out."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"The only two things that are infinite are the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

"The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for."