"I'm telling you, the ingenuity of alcoholics is something else. If only it could be put to some kind of good use. I mean, if you said to an alcoholic, 'Look, the only way for you to get another drink …"

"I'm not a very good father. I always forget my kids' birthdays."

"Reality's a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there."

"Hating people isn't a productive way of living."

"I snorted a line of ants once. Don't ask me why."