"The best way to get over a broken heart is to find someone new."

"As my mother used to say, guests are like cakes: if you keep them too long, they turn rancid and become inedible."

"I am for people. I can’t help it."

"I am a comedian, and my job is to make people laugh, even if it's at my own expense."

"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot."