"I changed the names of the months and days of the week because the old ones were foreign. Now they are Turkmen."

"I have ordered that all dogs in the capital be collected and sent to the countryside. They are too noisy."

"I have decided that all the hospitals in the country, except for the capital, should be closed. People should come to Ashgabat if they are sick."

"I have banned lip-syncing at public concerts. Singers must sing live."

"I watched the moon landings on TV, and I didn’t believe them. I think it’s a complete fake."