"A man who lives on hope dies farting."

"Beware of the young doctor and the old barber."

"After all, wedlock is the natural state of man. A bachelor is not a complete human being. He is like the odd half of a pair of scissors, which has not yet found its fellow, and therefore is not even h…"

"Were it not for the odiously offensive Smell accompanying such Escapes, polite People would probably be under no more Restraint in discharging such Wind in Company, than they are in spitting, or in bl…"

"The greatest monarch on the proudest throne, is oblig'd to sit upon his own bottom."