"Man is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't satisfactory."

"It is a solemn thought that at the very moment when the new baby is born, the old baby is dying."

"My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately everybody drinks water.)"

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."

"I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much more of it."