"Why did Donald J. Trump cross the road? To see Haitians eating pets on the other side."

"Writing is a form of mind control. It's the ultimate control. You can make people think what you want them to think. You can make them feel what you want them to feel."

"Moxy, oh my God, yes, Moxy, don't even get me started on Moxy, that stuff sucks. So bad."

"If you expect to succeed as a writer, rudeness should be the second-to-least of your concerns. The least of all should be polite society and what it expects. If you intend to write as truthfully as yo…"

"I don't believe in writer's block. I think it's a made-up malady. I think it's a way for people to feel bad about themselves."