"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times."

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man."

"I was educated once, but it didn't take."

"It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them."

"Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."