"The two most important things in life are good friends and a good chamber pot."

"Gold defiles with frequent touch; There's nothing fouls the hand so much."

"The difference between a madman and a sane man is that the madman is in a minority."

"As for yourself, whom I have the honour to know, you are a person of distinction, and would have been an ornament to any court in Europe."

"We are told that the Houyhnhnms have no vices, but those which are the product of their reason; and that the Yahoos have no virtues, but those which are the product of their instinct."