"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old."

"The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for."

"Never try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time, and you annoy the pig."

"The very first thing which a man has to do, in order to learn how to do a thing, is to learn how to unlearn it."

"I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name."