"I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't."

"Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul."

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."

"It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it thoroughly fumigated, and then put in a new lot of furniture."