"Some films are slices of life, mine are slices of cake."

"Some of our most exquisite murders have been domestic, performed with tenderness in simple, homey places like the kitchen table."

"Blondes make the best victims. They're like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints."

"I am always looking for new ways to scare people."

"The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder."