"I don't think white people realize how racist they are. For instance, you ever notice how they look at you when you're in a white neighborhood? They look at you like you're lost. And you look at them …"

"I'm not a guru. I'm just a guy who has a lot of opinions."

"I got in a fight with my wife. She said, 'You're not a man!' I said, 'I'm a man! I got a penis!' She said, 'Yeah, but it's not working!'"

"I didn't believe I was in the hospital. This doctor kept asking me, 'Do you know who I am?' And I kept wondering, 'Why is he asking me this?' I thought all these people were trying to kill me."

"When I was in Africa, the very first day I was there, I saw a Tarzan movie. I said, 'Oh shit, this is where they make those movies.' I saw this white dude swinging through the jungle, hollering, 'Aaaa…"