"The sun and moon are much smaller and closer than they tell you. They're just spotlights above the flat earth."

"I'm not saying I know for sure, but I've never seen a curve, and I've been to the ocean."

"Gravity is a hoax. It's just density and buoyancy."

"The 'curvature of the Earth' is only visible if you are high enough, and no one has ever been high enough to see it without a fish-eye lens."

"I can prove the Earth is flat with a laser pointer and a spirit level. You can't do that with a globe."