"…and do not post it to YouTube, as it doesn't work with free software!"

"Officially, MPAA stands for Motion Picture Association of America, but I suggest that MPAA stands for Malicious Power Attacking All."

"The only way to be a good neighbor is to share your software."

"I don't use a cell phone because I don't want to be tracked."

"The point of this joke is even more important now than it was when I first wrote it."