"I am not in the business of selling truth. I am in the business of selling entertainment."

"The plan of 'counting the chickens before they are hatched' is an error of ancient date, but it does not seem to improve by age."

"When I was born, all the modesty I had was in my head; I took it out, looked at it, laughed, and threw it away."

"Leave nothing for tomorrow which can be done today."

"The world is full of wonders, and it is my job to bring them to the people."