"There is no such thing as a dirty word. There are only dirty minds."

"Don't just do something, sit there!"

"If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing."

"There are only two things in life that are important: good health and a good woman. And you can't have both."

"If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library."