"And when I married her, she took the pill. The thing is that the young ones can have kids easier."

"Behind the ukulele and the high-pitched voice was a man who bathed five times a day, then stopped washing his hair and called his dandruff 'holy dust.'"

"I believe in miracles. I've seen them happen in my own life."

"The reason I started that [long hair] was uh to have something to go along with the high. voice i uh I felt that uh really it was a creation i I never advocated long hair for anybody. i only did this …"

"Tiny Tim always wore a tie. Morning, noon and night. Mister Plym never saw him without a tie. Ever. He even wore one to bed."