"I don't understand computers. I don't understand the internet. I just want to rock and roll."

"I've got a lot of tattoos. Some of them I regret. Some of them I don't even remember getting."

"I'm not a very good doctor. I always make things worse."

"Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus."

"At best I've got ten years left — and when you're older, time picks up speed."