Humorous Sayings
5,479 sayings found from the Modern era
I've always objected to doing anything over again if I had already done it once.
The wonderful thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.
I am now going to make you a gift that will stay with you the rest of your life. For the rest of your life, every time you say, 'We've always done it that way,' my ghost will appear and haunt you for twenty-four hours.
If it isn't bolted down, bring it home.
I will not take what you need to give me. I will take what you want to give me.
Mother Dear, one day I'm going to turn this world upside down.
It's all right to tell a man to lift himself by his own bootstraps, but it is cruel jest to say to a bootless man that he ought to lift himself by his own bootstraps.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
Nothing pains some people more than having to think.
The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.
You know every Napoleon has his Waterloo. I'm like Napoleon. I'm at my Waterloo, and I'm on my knees.
That's absurd. You don't even know me.
Uh yes um what is it my brother? Why we need to protest the radio station?
I am proud to be maladjusted and wish all men of goodwill would be maladjusted until the good society is realized.
We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.
He is a weak ruler who needs religion to uphold his government; it is as if he would catch his people in a trap.
There are no hopeless situations, there are desperate people. I have never lost hope.
Religions have been basis of the tyranny of kings and sultans.
Victory is for those who can say 'Victory is mine'. Success is for those who can begin saying 'I will succeed' and say 'I have succeeded' in the end.
(No direct quotes found that are genuinely funny, witty, absurd, or unintentionally comedic and can be reliably verified. Historical accounts suggest he was a stoic and ceremonial figure, with few documented personal remarks.)