Humorous Sayings

15,016 sayings found

No sin withers the soul more quickly than laughter.

— Benjamin Franklin Unknown, likely 18th century
Humorous

It is always better to be diligent, for he who toils with honor dies content, while he who is lazy sleeps with the diligent man's wife.

— Benjamin Franklin Unknown, likely 18th century
Humorous

Save a moment each day by leaving your trousers on while you relieve your bladder.

— Benjamin Franklin Unknown, likely 18th century
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He who dines on human meat, shall never want for things to eat.

— Benjamin Franklin Unknown, likely 18th century
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An old young man will be a young old man.

— Benjamin Franklin Unknown, likely 18th century
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A man of words and not of deeds, is like a garden full of weeds.

— Benjamin Franklin Unknown, likely 18th century
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If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.

— Benjamin Franklin Unknown, likely 18th century
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To be content, look backward on those who possess less than yourself, not forward on those who possess more. If this does not make you content, you don't deserve to be happy.

— Benjamin Franklin Unknown, likely 18th century
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The worship of God is a duty; the hearing and reading of sermons may be useful; but if men rest in hearing and praying, as too many do, it is as if a tree should value itself in being watered and putting forth leaves, tho' it never produced any fruit…

— Benjamin Franklin Unknown, likely 18th century
Humorous

Instead of falling to the floor, as we expected, it flew across the room till it struck the ceiling, where it fluttered awhile, and finally sank to the floor.

— Wright Brothers (Orville & Wilbur) 1908 (recalling 1878 event)
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I saw in a dream a table where all the elements fell into place as required. Awakening, I immediately wrote it down on a piece of paper.

— Dmitri Mendeleev 1869
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Why do they [Americans] quarrel, why do they hate Negroes, Indians, even Germans, why do they not have science and poetry commensurate with themselves, why are there so many frauds and so much nonsense? I cannot soon give a solution to these question…

— Dmitri Mendeleev Late 19th century
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There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them.

— Werner Heisenberg Mid 20th century
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Only a few know, how much one must know to know how little one knows.

— Werner Heisenberg Mid 20th century
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The positivists have a simple solution: the world must be divided into that which we can say clearly and the rest, which we had better pass over in silence. But can anyone conceive of a more pointless philosophy, seeing that what we can say clearly a…

— Werner Heisenberg 1958
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Science advances one funeral at a time.

— Max Planck Mid 20th century
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No burden is so heavy for a man to bear as a succession of happy days.

— Max Planck Early 20th century
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An important scientific innovation rarely makes its way by gradually winning over and converting its opponents: it rarely happens that Saul becomes Paul. What does happen is that its opponents gradually die out, and that the growing generation is fam…

— Max Planck 1949
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Experiment is the only means of knowledge at our disposal. Everything else is poetry, imagination.

— Max Planck Early 20th century
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No, I certainly do not believe in this superstition. But you know, they say that it does bring luck even if you don't believe in it!

— Niels Bohr Mid 20th century
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