Dave Chappelle

The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. 'I don't understand this person, so they're crazy.' That's bulls---, man. These people are not crazy, they're just not like you.

I'm a very good liar. I could lie to you right now and you'd be like, 'Oh, that's a good story.'

Sometimes the funniest thing to do is to be honest.

You know, sometimes you don't even know you're racist. You just think you're being practical.

I'm not a politician. I'm a comedian. I'm not here to tell you what to think. I'm here to make you think.

The only thing worse than a man who talks too much is a man who doesn't talk at all.

I love being black. That's the best thing that ever happened to me.

My father told me, 'Son, if you want to be a man, you gotta learn to fight.' I said, 'Dad, I want to be a comedian.' He said, 'Same thing.'

I'm a grown man. I don't need to ask permission to be funny.

The only thing that's consistent in life is change.

I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm trying to be honest.

You know what the scariest thing about a black man is? Is that he's free.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

I'm not here to solve anything. I'm just here to observe it.

The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Just let it loose.

I'm not a role model. I'm a comedian. I'm here to make you laugh, not live your life.

You can't be afraid to offend people. If you're afraid to offend people, you're not doing your job.

I'm not an activist. I'm an artist.

The only way to truly understand someone is to walk a mile in their shoes. Or, you know, just listen to them.

Comedy is a weapon. You can use it for good or for evil.