Zoroaster

The evil shall be destroyed, but the good shall flourish.

The path of the righteous is not always easy, but it is always right. And sometimes, it involves a lot of sheep. You wouldn't believe the amount of sheep.

One day, all of creation will rejoice. And on that day, I hope someone finally figures out how to properly season lamb.

Good thoughts, good words, good deeds. And a good nap. Don't forget the good nap.

The wise man chooses good. The very wise man chooses good and then immediately finds a comfortable rock to sit on.

If you want to know what a man is truly like, observe him when he thinks no one is watching. Or when he's trying to get a camel to cooperate.

I counsel you to always choose the better way. Unless the better way involves a really steep hill. Then, maybe consider a detour.

Truth will prevail. And eventually, so will my laundry, I hope.

May your days be filled with joy and your enemies be utterly confused by your excellent fashion choices.

The wise man knows what he does not know. The truly wise man knows what he does not know and then asks someone else to explain it.

Do not seek revenge. Instead, live a life so good that your enemies get really, really jealous. Also, maybe trip them occasionally.

The universe is vast and mysterious. And I still can't find my sandals.

Happiness is a choice. And sometimes, that choice involves a really good piece of fruit.

May your journey be filled with light, and may you never run out of snacks.

The greatest wisdom is to know oneself. The second greatest is to know where you put your keys.

Choose the truth. And if the truth is inconvenient, choose it anyway. But maybe grumble a little.

Life is a journey, not a destination. And sometimes, the journey involves getting really lost.

The mind is a powerful tool. Use it wisely. Or at least to remember where you parked your camel.

May your spirit be strong and your coffee be stronger.

Good will triumph over evil. But sometimes, evil has better snacks.