"If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks."

"Nothing is so annoying as to have two people talking at once, unless it is when no one will talk to you."

"I have a great many things to say, but I don't know how to say them."

"Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"The finest clothing made is a man's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this."