"Do not put off until tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well."

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."

"I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name."

"Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."