"I'm a collector of words. I'm a word nerd. I love words. I love how they sound, how they look, how they feel, how they taste. I love how they make me think, how they make me feel, how they make me lau…"

"I don't believe in fate. I believe in choice. I believe in making your own choices, and living with the consequences."

"I'm not a role model. I'm just a guy who tries to make people laugh."

"Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit."

"Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by tying biscuits all over your body."