"On Election Day, I stay home. Two reasons: first of all, voting is meaningless; this country was bought and paid for a long time ago. That empty shit they shuffle around and repackage every four years…"

"I'm not a shrink. I'm just a guy who likes to listen."

"I'm a little freaked out by the number of people who don't seem to notice the difference between 'you're' and 'your.' It's like, there's a huge difference, people!"

"When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person."

"All you have to do is look at slavery, the Middle East, the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Holocaust, and the World Trade Center, and you'll see how seriously the religious folks take 'Thou Shalt Not …"