"The human race has only one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear and life stands explained."

"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain."

"An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency."