"Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus."

"Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose."

"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

"I'm a big fan of laughter being the best medicine. I think it's true."

"I believe in reincarnation. In my next life, I want to be a cat. To sleep 20 hours a day and wait to be fed. To sit and lick my ass. I've always wanted to do that."