"Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist."

"If you scratch a religious person, you'll find a superstitious person."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"I'm not a preacher. I'm just a guy who likes to tell people what to do."

"I'm not a guru. I'm just a guy who likes to give advice."