"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that shit."

"I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist. I just happen to believe that reality is a dark, depressing, and ultimately meaningless place."

"I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists."

"I'm not a fan of organized sports. I think it's a bunch of people running around in circles, chasing a ball, and then someone wins and someone loses, and then everyone goes home."