"I've been married to the same woman for 30 years and I've never cheated on her once. Or maybe I have, I don't know."

"I'm not a very good golfer. I hit the ball sideways."

"I'm not a very good swimmer. I'm afraid of the water."

"I don't want you to play me a riff that's going to impress Joe Satriani; give me a riff that makes a kid want to go out and buy a guitar."

"I once woke up in a stranger's house wearing a dress. No idea how I got there."