The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
Comedian, social critic
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"I'm a modern man. I'm a modern man. A man for the millennium. Digital and smoke-free. A diversified multi-cultural post-modern man. I'm a man for all seasons, and I'm a man for all reasons. And I'm a …"
Strange & Unusual"I'm not a legend. I'm just a guy who's been around for a long time."
Controversial"I'm not a fan of reality television. I think it's a bunch of people who are trying to be famous, and they're willing to do anything to get it."
Strange & Unusual"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
Humorous"Don't just teach your children to read. Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything."
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