"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job …"

"I don’t like to think of laws as rules you have to follow, but more as suggestions."

"I'm not a paranoid, but I feel like I'm being watched. And I'm not a narcissist, but I feel like I'm being judged. And I'm not a hypochondriac, but I feel like I'm dying."

"I'm not a role model. I'm just a guy who tries to make people laugh."

"I don't have a problem with drugs. I have a problem with the police."