"I'm not a legend. I'm just a guy who's been around for a long time."

"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."

"The very first things that children learn are their limitations. Before they learn anything else, they learn what they can't do."

"I'm a little freaked out by the fact that I'm becoming my father. I find myself saying things like, 'Turn off the lights, I'm not paying to light the whole neighborhood!'"

"I like it when a guy is so stupid he doesn't know he's being made fun of. That's funnier than anything."