"When in doubt, tell the truth."

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."

"I was educated once – it took me years to get over it."

"What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it."

"Man is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't satisfactory."