"It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."

"No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live."

"Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink."

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir... mighty scarce."