"There is no sadder thing than a young pessimist than perhaps an old optimist."

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear and life stands explained."

"The principal difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives."

"Why is it that we can remember the least important things and forget the most important things?"

"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not."