"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job …"

"The very first time I got arrested, I was 20. I was with Jack Burns, a comedy partner of mine. We were arrested in a nightclub in Fort Worth, TX. We were doing a routine called 'The Indian Story' whic…"

"A lot of people say, 'Well, I'm not into politics.' Well, politics is into you."

"I don't believe in luck. I believe in preparation. I believe in seizing opportunities. I believe in making your own luck."

"I don’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones."