"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."

"Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink."

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."

"It is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."

"Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it."