"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all."

"The status quo sucks."

"I'm not a cynical person. I'm just a person who's seen a lot of shit."

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

"The older I get, the more I realize that the only thing that matters is how you treat people. And most people treat people like shit."