"When you're a kid, you think you're gonna live forever. Then you get older, and you realize you're not."

"(Pryor to his woman) 'I'm gonna find me some new pussy!' (Imitating the woman) 'Yeah? You had two more inches of dick you'd find some new pussy here!' 'I know the dick was good to you. If it wasn't go…"

"When you're getting your ass kicked, you don't stop and say, 'Hold on, I think you're violating my constitutional rights.'"

"I'm not a hero. I'm just a guy who tells jokes for a living."

"I'm not a prophet. I'm just a guy who sees the future."