"I'm a little freaked out by the fact that I'm becoming my father. I find myself saying things like, 'Turn off the lights, I'm not paying to light the whole neighborhood!'"

"I'm not a pessimist. I'm a realist. I just think the world is a fucked-up place."

"I'm a modern man. I've got a cell phone, a laptop, and I'm still trying to figure out how to work the damn remote control."

"I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers, or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists."

"I don't believe in miracles. I believe in science. I believe in facts. I believe in things you can see, and touch, and feel."